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Relationships: How We Need Each other



 One measure of life is not how we see ourselves but how others see us. To be specific, how others need us, and the roles we play in relationships that we create. We can think of these roles from the greatest amount of power to the control of the weakest. Your value system in one way or the other determines the kind of relationships you give in to. I will Draw your attention to some few facts in relationship via the different relationship categories you can find yourself;

  • The Needy: Some will look up to you to hold them up, bail them out, take over when they are overwhelmed, and make things right. You may take on this role because it is part of your values —Helping the needy — but this may be the allure of being needed. This relationship is unbalanced. The danger is that you get burned out, that you don’t feel appreciated or that they eventually outgrow you, leaving you alone and looking for someone else to save.
  • The Helper: You’re the guy everyone always hits up to be on that church committee, to run the bake sale for the PTA, to be the assistant coach for the kids’ soccer team. Unlike the Needy, you’re not saving anyone, but like them, helping may be part of your values and feeling needing may draw you in. You also may have a difficult time saying no and setting boundaries, thereby making yourself a man-pleaser. The danger here is this; you will burnout with periodic resentment because you’re doing the heavy lifting when others are not, or because everyone seems to take you for granted.
  • The Decision-maker: Others turn to you for your knowledge, your leadership, your ability to be the final word on big decisions. There are several variations. In the most positive version, others respect you and see you as a sage because of your experience and/or age. Some others may come to you because they see you as a drill sergeant who is in control and runs a tight ship, and they are afraid to make independent decisions. In a milder version, they are not afraid, but through your attitude and direction, you have trained others to be dependent on you. The down side of this category is – You get control at the cost of having to be responsible for and often essentially do it all. Like the others, you can get burned out, resentful, or upset when others leave because they are tired of your control and/or outgrow you.
  • The Confidant: You’re easy to talk to and to open up to, and people share their secrets and troubles with you. You may not offer wisdom that much but offer honest and healing listening. Empathy comes with your personality. Like the others, your values include helping others. You appreciate the intimacy. Like the Needy category, the relationship can be unbalanced, and intimacy may be one-sided. You give, but maybe you don’t get or at least don’t get much.
  • Balanced Intimacy: In this category, it is “give and take” and “helping and being helped”. This is relatively balanced, and the intimacy is two-sided. You have the desire for balance and the ability to be sensitive to others but able to set boundaries; there is no strong need to be in charge, be in control or be important.  80% of human are involved in this kind of relationship while the remaining 20% is involved in the other categories consciously or unconsciously.
  • The “Self- centered”: Here, People don’t seem to need you. People don’t see you as reliable, or they believe that you are too preoccupied with your own issues or needy. Or you seem to put up emotional walls and set firm boundaries, creating a sense of self-sufficiency and detachment that keeps others from approaching you. You too are in unbalanced relationships in which you take but don’t give much back, which causes resentment and burnout in others because your emotional walls radiate negative energy while your dependency on others makes you fearful of their pulling away. And if you adopt the self-sufficiency stance you may avoid the burnout or resentment of the other roles, but at the cost of isolation and a lack of true intimacy.

Every human being on this earth fall under one or more of these categories. It’s necessary to figure out which category is predominant with you, check the downsides and upsides, and resolve to making your relationship experience a better one. Also, this will help you in self-discovery and development. Valentine is here!!! Everyone needs a show of love one way or the other and understanding these categories of relationships will help you in improving your relationship.

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Tim Cook Officially becomes a Multi- Billionaire



Tim Cook Officially becomes a Multi- Billionaire

Tim Cook, the Chief Executive Officer of multinational tech company – Apple, has joined the billionaires club as he officially becomes a billionaire.

Tim Cook Becomes A Billionaire

Apple’s market value has been on the rise following strong results and the upbeat outlook for tech giants.

Mr Cook owns 847,969 shares directly and took home more than $125m (£96m) last year as part of his pay package.

Last week, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg saw his personal wealth hit $100bn (£76bn).

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Technology companies including Apple, Facebook and Amazon have seen their profits grow during the coronavirus pandemic as more people went online.

Silicon-Valley based Apple is now closing in on the milestone of being the first company to be valued at $2tn. Two years ago it become the first company to be valued at $1tn.

Tim Cook Becomes A Billionaire

Mr Cook took over from Apple founder Steve Jobs nine years ago. His billionaire status is based on the shares he owns and the compensation he has been paid at Apple, and calculated by the Bloomberg Billionaires Index.

In 2015, he said he planned to give most of his fortune away and has already donated million of dollars worth of Apple shares.

Facebook’s Zuckerberg has made a similar pledge to give away the majority of his shares.

Mr Zuckerberg, along with Amazon’s Jeff Bezos and Tesla’s Elon Musk, accrued their wealth from the huge stakes in the companies they founded.

In comparison, Mr Cook’s stake in Apple is minuscule at about 0.02%.

Based on US federal and state taxes for California, Mr Cook would face a tax rate of just over 50%, as a top-bracket earner.

While Apple has not revealed any new products as groundbreaking as its iPhone, the company has still thrived since Mr Cook took over the reins.

He has overseen the development of devices such as the iPhone X and Apple Watch, along with new services like Apple Music.

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Commission Pledges to Eradicate Illiteracy and Endemic Poverty in North-East




Commission pledges to eradicate illiteracy, endemic poverty in north east

The North East Development Commission Education Endowment Fund (NEDC-EEF), on Friday in Abuja has expressed commitment to the eradication of illiteracy and endemic poverty in the North East region.

The Chairman, Board of Trustees of the fund, Mr David Sabo Kente (DSK), made the pledge at the inauguration of the board by the Chairman of the North East Development Commission (NEDC), Gen. Paul Tarfa retired.

Kente said that the board would assiduously work towards the development of sufficient human capital in order to acquire adequate capacity for infrastructural and socio-economic development of the region.

He also said that the fund would build human capacity for the north east zone through scholarship endowment;
Offer citizens of member States equal opportunity in ICT skills acquisition and educational training at graduate and post graduate levels.

” We are also determine to provide educational training for families at Ward , Local Government and Senatorial district levels in all the States.

” And further the education of over 2400 beneficiaries of the Safe School Initiative (SSI) beyond Secondary School level;
Offer opportunity for training orphaned children and other vulnerable groups currently not benefitting from the safe school initiative.

” We will also provide short term but impactful entrepreneurship training programmes to candidates whose primary school or secondary school education were truncated by the Boko Haram and other crisis.

” Similarly, we intend to offer special scholarship opportunities to talented youths engaged in sports, and also establish a North East Regional Sports Institute in the future and support the training of Nurses, Midwives and retraining of Teachers and vocational training for women and youths.

” These will in no small measure, fight the menace of low human capital and illiteracy which has been traced to be the highest in the north east compared to the rest of the six geographical zones in the nation,” he said.

Kente said based on the UNDP Human Development Reports of 2018, north east States have a Human Development Index (HDI) scores below the National average.

” Ranging from a high of 0.4286 in Taraba to a low of 0.3238 in Bauchi State, less than half of that of Lagos State at 0.6515,the State with the Highest HDI score.”

He assured that the board would partner with States Education architecture, local and international development partners in the education sector, as well as donor agencies, to achieve it core mandate of creating an educated citizenry.

” This we believe will change the educational landscape of the region.

” Our intention and target is to get the first set of beneficiaries of the programme into various institutions by the beginning of the next academic session.”

Kente used the occasion to appreciates the support of the Chairman and Members of the Governing Board of NEDC for setting aside the approved grant to enable the board hit the ground running with the activities of NEDC-EEF.


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By Millicent Umoru-O

The Federation of International Gender and Human Right (FIGHR) a Division of the Maternal Care Project of United Nations (UN) Women Gambia, New York held its 2020 cohort Fellowship on Gender Based and Human Rights Violence (GBV) Advocacy program.

Gistflash gathered that the fellowship which is the first of its kind will be a joint venture, focusing on the development of the Global Ambassador Program as offered by Global Minds Connect (GMC) and Peer Advocacy Education Program as offered within FIGHR. This cohort offers to assist GMC and their pledge to educate and embark on ‘‘One Million Ambassadors’’ to help eradicate GBV and governing bodies of the African Union, ECOWAS and the United Nations in their effort of ending Gender Based Violence, internationally.

The Founder and Lead Advocate, FIGHR, Dr Ameena Ali, during the FIGHR 2020 Gender Based Violence Advocacy Fellowship organized to raise Global Youth Ambassadors said the mission of the fellowership, amongst others is to make sure there is a voice for all those affected by Gender based violence. Adding that the vision is to be a solution to GBV and empower the younger generations with education and knowledge in eradicating GBV.

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Dr. Ameena said the inaugural meeting is to introduce the participants and also give an insight on what the 12 weeks training will entail.

adding that, the training will all be done virtually and after the training, participants will be certified as well as become Ambassadors for Gender Based Violence in their countries.

The virtual meeting featured participants from different countries, including Nigeria, Ghana, India, South Sudan, Afganistan etc.

She urged all to take the 12 weeks training seriously so as to be able to teach and advocate for the eradication of Gender Based Violence in their various countries. She noted that, a certificate will be issued at the end of the training

According to Dr. Ameena, after the 12 weeks training, Ambassadors will be required to go out and teach, enlighten as well as help people in both urban and rural areas to know more about Gender Based Violence and assist in eradicating it.

She further stated that the certificate will facilitate the registration of Non Governmental organisation (NGOs) and Community Service Organisations (CSOs), as that will help the ambassadors reach out to the needed audience. The training which started on 4th of August, 2020 will run till October 2020.

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